#22: Memoir Writing Tips: How to Start Your Writing Journey with Marion Roach Smith
The magic of memoir isn’t in recounting every detail of your life—it’s in how you capture the universal truths in your unique story. Memoir coach and bestselling author Marion Roach Smith recently joined me for an inspiring conversation on writing memoir with intent.
Here are some of her standout insights that can help you begin or refine your own writing journey.
- Memoir Isn’t About What You Did; It’s About What You Did With It
Marion says it best: “Memoir isn’t about what you did; it’s about what you did with it.” Memoir isn’t just a record of events or an autobiography. It’s an argument you make through your story—a stance on what you’ve learned, how you’ve changed, and how readers can see themselves in your journey. Memoir releases us to think differently and live better by allowing us to confront and share the truths that define our lives.
- Start with Small Moments That Highlight Larger Themes
The best memoirs are built on “small moments that highlight life’s larger themes.” You don’t need a dramatic, earth-shattering event to write a memoir that resonates. Often, the quieter, more intimate moments—a conversation with a friend, a quiet revelation during a walk—have the most to say about our shared humanity. If you’ve been bitten by the writing bug, consider digging into these small, powerful moments to find your message.
- Structure Your Memoir Like a Call and Response
Memoir thrives on transformation. As Marion puts it, “Memoir is a call and response. Act 1: What you couldn’t do. Act 2: How you learned it. Act 3: What you did with it.” This structure gives your story a universal arc, one that moves readers from struggle to transformation. By following this structure, you create a memoir that guides readers through your personal journey with clarity and purpose.
- Get Comfortable with Being Vulnerable
Memoir calls for bravery and honesty. “Memoir has consequences,” Marion says. “There will be people who won’t like your story...but it’s your story.” It’s about capturing your perspective, even if that means facing some tough truths. Vulnerability draws readers in—it allows them to see themselves in your journey, even when the details differ.
- Crafting Titles That Capture Your Reader’s Interest
Finding a title can be daunting. Marion’s advice? “What am I going to get?” Ask yourself what the promise of your book is. Titles like Wild don’t just describe the setting; they communicate a universal theme that pulls readers in. A compelling title offers an invitation, leaving readers eager to know more.
- Memoir Writing Isn’t Reserved for Experts—It’s About Authority in Your Story
“You’re a much bigger deal than you think you are,” Marion reminds us. Memoir allows you to show how you came to understand something deeply meaningful. By writing with authority, you give your story credibility, whether that comes from a specific experience, career, or personal journey. As you write, don’t hold back because you’re worried about credentials. Instead, focus on crafting a story that delivers insight.
- Write Widely and Regularly—Build Your Writing Muscles
Marion advises writers to avoid getting too attached to one big project without exploring other forms of writing. “Writing begets writing,” she says. Whether it’s essays, op-eds, blog posts, or memoir chapters, writing widely gives you the chance to refine your skills, develop your voice, and test ideas that could lead to something bigger. Think of each piece as building a byline basket—a collection of your work that makes agents and readers take notice.
- Know That Your Story Has Value, Even if Memoir Isn’t “Trendy”
Memoir isn’t going anywhere. “Memoir is never going to fall out of fashion,” says Marion. Memoir has connected us to some of the most profound human experiences across history. Memoir serves as a way to share the complex beauty of our humanity, to help others see themselves through a lens they hadn’t considered before. Trust that your story has a place in the world.
- Curate Your Story, Don’t Chronologize It
Avoid the temptation to include everything. Memoir isn’t autobiography. “Don’t let autobiography creep into memoir,” Marion cautions. The goal is to select the scenes that best support your story’s arc. What events were crucial in shaping your message? Pick those and leave out the rest. A well-curated memoir resonates more powerfully than one filled with every detail.
- Don’t Wait for Permission—Start Writing
If you’ve been putting off your memoir for the “right time,” Marion offers this final push: “Everyone has stories, and nobody should wait until they have it all figured out.” Start with what you know, start small, but don’t wait. Your story can inspire, teach, and reach others, but only if you tell it.
Ready to Start Your Memoir?
Take these insights from Marion Roach Smith to heart, and start writing with purpose. Whether you’re outlining your story, crafting essays, or simply jotting down ideas, remember that memoir is about more than recounting what happened. It’s about sharing what you’ve learned and offering readers a glimpse into their own lives through your story.
